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Daisy
I’ve been thinking about this blog post, a cautionary letter, ever since a friend shared it with me the this past weekend.
It is a tale of a fearful dog stuck in a situation that too many fearful dogs are stuck in –  in a home where the owner chooses to go with a trainer who ends up harming the dog more than helping him.
The woman’s story brought to mind all the times I have seen a fearful dog corrected using training methods that were not only less than helpful, but often harmful to the dog.
It reminded me of a blog post comment I once received from a young woman who had taken in a very shy and fearful dog after he had been rescued from living on the streets. She had expressed hope that perhaps one day her new dog would be more like Daisy is today – less fearful and more confident around people and other dogs. She also shared how a friend had recently come over, and after seeing her dog, told her that the way to work with him was to show him she was the alpha. She should show him who was boss and then everything would be alright. (Yeah right. That’ll teach your fearful dog not to be afraid.) I sure hope she trusted her gut and went the other way.
I am truly disheartened when I see fearful dog owners buying into the belief that using an aggressive training approach will lead to better or more  immediate results than time, a gentle touch, an encouraging voice and patience. It makes me shudder to think that Daisy might have ended up in a home where that was approach used on her.
For me, the pleasure has been in seeing Daisy blossom of her own accord. Yes, I helped along the way, but mostly I let her set the tone and pace of her own progress. I didn’t rush her. I let her decide when I was worth trusting. I let her have a say in her progress. In doing so, I believe I empowered her to explore, to try new things, to meet new people and to share her happiness with me.  That’s not to say an owner can’t help a fearful dog along more quickly (without force), but for me it’s always been about the journey. Both of us together. Learning from one another.
I can’t help the woman or the dog who she wrote about in that piece (God I wish I could), but I hope sharing my journey with Daisy has helped some people to see that there is another way. A way that is both gentle and kind and better than the one that uses force.
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